


gut's naechtle.

by arknoas



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, ajjdjsjxjsjxjd [swallows a rock], byleth just wants dinitri to Sleeb, i love these boys so much. do you understand, i stayed up until 5am writing this and finished it like 2 hours ago, shoutout to ace and luna for supporting me even though im a fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 06:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20169721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arknoas/pseuds/arknoas
Summary: it's the little things that matter.





	gut's naechtle.

he was warned, you know -- warned about how cold faergus nights could be. even if it was freezing though … he had to do this. just had to. 

byleth, wrapped in a thin blanket, stands just outside the study. clutched in his hands was a tea tray, barren save for the teapot, some honey, and a bowl of sugar. mercedes hadn't left any treats her last visit, so he supposes the two of them -- he and dimitri, he means -- would have to live with just this.

it was alright, he thinks. it wasn't like they'd be eaten anyways.

lately, the king had gotten back into his insomniac habits from his younger days. it had been more than once that byleth was left alone in their otherwise empty quarters come nighttime, warming a bed for someone who never showed. instead, dimitri spent his nights the royal library, attending to his duties in weak candlelight. he'd then spend the _ mornings _ there too, doing the same exact things. constantly. almost around the clock. every time byleth had managed to pull him away, he'd somehow make his way back. it was becoming a bit of a futile effort.

… byleth understood that ever since dimitri had become king, his workload had almost tripled. the addition of both alliance and empire lands to the kingdom left him with a larger amount of subjects to deal with, and plenty more problems to address. even still … byleth couldn't let dimitri power through it alone. call it a remnant of his instincts from his teaching days, guilt from leaving him alone during the five years of the war, _ anything _ \-- he just wasn't going to let it happen anymore.

holding his breath, byleth steps into the room. slumped over a table at the very end of the study is dimitri's hulking bear of a form -- his cloak had been pulled up past his shoulders, serving as a blanket of some sort. an extinguished candle, burned down to it's very last legs, sits at the edge of the table. byleth couldn't see his face from where he stood in the doorway, but he's sure it looks … peaceful. that's what his breathing suggested, at least. a snore pierces the air, sharp and out of place.

… of course he was. this is a scene byleth was used to by now. the man blinks at dimitri for a moment, considering. he then shakes his head gently.

" knock knock. " byleth gently raps his knuckles on the already open door, clumsily transferring the tea tray to his other hand. he watches as the slumped form suddenly snaps upwards. dimitri tries his best to make it look like he had been doing something for the past hour -- keyword being '_ tries _' because he didn't do a great job of it. something -- a container of ink, perhaps -- clatters to the ground noisily. dimitri curses and swipes it up. the entire scene makes byleth smirk, if only for a second.

" glad to see that my husband is still hard at work. "

" oh, byleth. it's you. " the tension eases from dimitri's shoulders, and he releases the breath he'd been holding. " i thought you were felix coming to check on me again. "

" felix is asleep -- as you _ should _ be. " byleth clears the distance of the room in several quick strides, his smile fading. dimitri makes no move to reply -- just half turns his head back down to the desk in front of him. byleth watches.

" … nevermind to that, i suppose. " byleth places the tea tray in his hands on a stack of nearby books, making sure it won't fall when he pulls away. from out of his sleeves, the former professor brings out two matching china cups and fills them up. one is placed on the table next to dimitri's elbow and the other is kept for himself. " i brought you some tea. i thought you could use the break. "

" thank you. " dimitri murmurs. despite this, he doesn't look at the cup -- or even at byleth for that matter. he is far more absorbed into the texts spread out before him. byleth takes a sip of his own tea, looking on over dimitri's shoulder.

this is how it's been for several nights now: dimitri running himself ragged slaving over a countless number of forms and byleth bringing him refreshments whenever he could spare the time. dimitri never left himself a moment to enjoy any of it. it was all work and no relaxation in the king's world -- and so, it turned madly on.

every night, the conversation went the same way.

" what has you up so late, anyways? is it something i can help you with? " byleth leans further over dimitri's shoulder, squinting down at the text. it's a bit too dark for him to read, truthfully -- the most he can make out is a flurry of confusing, mismatched letters. surely dimitri was suffering in the same way?

" no. " dimitri relies in gruff monotone, pushing byleth backwards gently. " i'm not going to let you help, that is. this is my work. i shouldn't trouble you with it. "

" surely something as small as an explanation wouldn't hurt? " byleth replies, sitting up straight again. " talking it out with me could even help you come up with a solution. "

dimitri is silent for a second. and then he sighs, long and deep. " diplomacy matters. specifically about brigid. i'm trying to figure out where they lie now, considering that the empire has been absorbed into faergus. " dimitri rifles through the papers some more. " of course … that would technically make them _ our _ vassal state now, but i believe they deserve their own independence at this point. it's been so long. "

" mmn. " byleth nods. " the decision has been made then, right? you're done."

" … not quite. it's far more complicated than you're making it out to be. " dimitri's eyes shift towards the teacup as byleth makes a move to push it closer to him, but he still doesn't reach for it. " i have my own kingdom's matters to attend to after this. i am the furthest thing from finished. "

" ... it is only because of the sacrifices of others and the charity of my people that i have the right to enjoy this life. i owe it to them to be a fair and just ruler, at the very least. wouldn't you agree? "

byleth stares at him for a moment. his gaze then shifts downwards to his still quarter-full teacup. " so i guess that's a no to the whole 'coming to bed' thing, hm? "

the shuffling stops. for the first time during this whole exchange, dimitri looks away from the documents and towards byleth. he says nothing. byleth cannot quite discern the emotion behind that glare, but decides that it is anything except amused. as quickly as dimitri looks over at him, he looks away. clears his throat. continues to work. all in some sort of eerie clockwork that makes byleth feel weird all over.

regardless, he continues to press. " it would do you some good, dimitri. "

no answer.

" you've been sitting here for hours. "

no answer.

" alright -- i'll admit it. i'm a little lonely in there all by myself. would you please come with me? "

no answer.

byleth sighs to himself, realizing that dimitri wasn't going to budge on this. he'd always been so … stubborn. that wouldn't change, even with the war being long over. people said you were supposed to live with your partner despite their flaws, but … could you really excuse them if they were potentially being self-destructive? byleth had long watched as dimitri slaved over his duties, forgoing things like food and sleep in the process. it was upsetting to watch him wear himself down into this kind of state.

quickly, byleth downs the rest of his tea. the cup finds its place next to dimitri's own on the table -- still untouched, by the way. it's contents were likely cold by this point. " i suppose i'll have to sit and watch you like you're some sort of child then. would that be alright with you? "

dimitri stops again, but otherwise doesn't acknowledge byleth and his nagging. taking his silence as confirmation, byleth pulls up an extra chair and sits a short distance away from dimitri. the former professor then sits, staring intently at dimitri's back. the lord turns his head slightly, not quite looking at byleth … before pivoting forward and continuing.

byleth leans forward slightly in his seat. he remembers, once, how dimitri held his hands in his own and called them soft. warm. _ delicate and fragile. _ back then, dimitri had done nothing but speak about how he wished to protect both them and the person they belonged to for the rest of his life. byleth wonders now if dimitri realizes that he doesn't have to be that type of person anymore. long gone were the days of the lone boar prince, he who was destined to serve as a shield for the dead and nothing more. it was the two of them now, arm in arm and against the world -- _ together _. dimitri wasn't a mere tool to be used up, broken, and forgotten. dimitri was just … dimitri. utterly and unmistakably human. he could afford to loosen up every now and then. to place his trust in someone. to become the protected.

byleth wanted to be that shield -- _ his _ shield -- ever so badly. a setup like that would only upset the lord, however ... especially if he was as 'out there' as dimitri was with it. that's exactly why byleth instead focused on the little things. there was no way he could get angry over it without seeming irrational. _ go to sleep dimitri _ . _ eat your breakfast dimitri. please, i am begging you, take breaks dimitri. _ even still, it never seemed to be enough. heh, it was more like the furthest thing from it! dimitri still kept pushing himself past his limits, and byleth still kept reminding him to watch himself. that was it. nothing changed. just an endless cycle. was … was he not doing all he could? or was dimitri just too blind to notice?

_ can't you see? i care about you. i care about you so much. do better to take care of yourself. i would feel terrible if something bad happened to you again. _

he was selfish, wasn't he? so, so selfish … but he felt like it was needed with a person like dimitri. even if the lord _ did _ see and eventually tore him apart for it, byleth would continue to offer whatever help he could. that was the nature of love, you see. you just kept on giving.

a small thump suddenly interrupts his thoughts -- byleth looks up from the floor. once again, dimitri has slumped forward onto the table, no doubt falling victim to his exhaustion again. the papers once clutched in his hands were sprawled about the ground now, collected in messy piles. from his spot only inches away, byleth blinks at him. he knows that dimitri would want him to leave him here at this point, but … something like that didn't sit right with him. it was, once again, doing too little. he supposes he'd just have to disappoint him for the time being.

byleth schooches forward in his seat, closing the distance between him and dimitri. he lifts his hands into the air and holds them there, stalling slightly. byleth then grips dimitri's shoulders and shakes in attempt to rouse him.

" dimitri. " byleth calls. dimitri immediately straightens up, muttering something along the lines of 'i'm awake, i'm awake!' before falling silent. byleth wouldn't have any of it, however -- he is out of his chair in an instant, pushing it backwards as his grip on dimitri tightens. " dimitri, please come to bed. you can't possibly expect yourself to stay up any longer. "

the king huffs, attempting to pull away. " i told you not to concern yourself with me. this work isn't something to just leave for another day. there's already so much to do, byleth -- let me go. "

" i can assure you, dimitri. whatever it is, it can at least wait until morning. " byleth grip loosens for a second. " please. come to bed. " his voice has a sort of desperate pang in it that is impossible to ignore. 

byleth expects protests again. or maybe even an argument … but none it comes. dimitri just stares at him glassy eyed for a moment before sighing and shaking his head. the lord grows limp in his partner's hands and, immediately, byleth is pulling him to his feet. dimitri stands up by himself for a whopping two seconds before his legs give out on him -- byleth lunges forward and just barely catches him by the arm. dimitri only laughs dryly in response. " whoops. my apologies. "

" you are a mess. " byleth whispers, furrowing his brows together. they clamber around for a moment, struggling to find a proper position. eventually, dimitri settles on wrapping both his arms around byleth's torso and neck while byleth grips his shoulder. byleth reaches out to grab the tea set as well, but ends up missing one of the cups completely. it tumbles onto the floor and shatters with a sharp crack. dimitri just looks at it. the two of them decide to leave the entire thing until morning -- it was too tiring to deal with right now.

" okay. " byleth turns away from the table and towards the door. " we can go now. are you ready to move? "

there is no answer from the lord. byleth stands for a bit before shifting his head towards him. for a second, he fears dimitri may have fallen asleep -- while that wouldn't have made their trip to the bedroom impossible, it sure would've made it considerably harder. dimitri is wide awake, however, and is staring at his toes. byleth is confused. " dimitri? "

silence. and then a rough sounding reply. " … thank you. "

… was that it? an awfully long pause for something so simple. byleth peels his eyes away and turns back towards the door. " it's no problem dimitri. truly. "

" no. i really mean it. " dimitri pulls his gaze upward. " i'm once again realizing how much you've done for me … and how much you _ keep _ doing. it makes me wonder how i would've turned out had you not be there for me during the war. "

_ dead. _ it isn't at all voiced, but the mere thought of it makes byleth shiver. the fact that he can see dimitri broken and bleeding on the battlefield so clearly is ... sickening. it takes all of his willpower to keep himself from retching. dimitri seemingly catches on to his thoughts because the hold he has on him suddenly grows tight. byleth quickly pulls himself together.

" … well you most certainly wouldn't have gotten that haircut! " he tries to cover up his apprehension with humor. " you're so much better when you're clean. please stay that way. "

" funny. " dimitri laughs as well before it all fades into quiet. he then slumps deeper into byleth's shoulder, still not quite ready to move. the wooden floor groans under their shifting weight. it sounds haunted almost. like some kind of ghost was going to reach out and pull them into the darkness.

… dimitri might as well have been that ghost, considering what he says next.

" i wonder how you would have treated me had you been on el's side. "

byleth nearly drops him. " huh? "

" you know. if we … " from the looks of it, dimitri is struggling with his words. his face contorts into a grimace for a second before he allows it to again be consumed by chilling neutrality. " if we had never gotten close during our time at garegg mach. if you'd had been assigned to the black eagles instead and decided that edelgard's ideals aligned with your own. would you … would you still have treated me the same? " 

silence. a cold, unnerving silence. byleth would refuse to admit it later, but underneath him his legs were shaking. was that the weight dimitri putting on him or something else? " i … "

" … it's alright, byleth. if you're uncomfortable, you do not have to answer. it certainly is an odd question. " he chuckles. " please ignore the blathering of this poor fool. "

… no. nonono. he can't possibly live with this. not when he sounds so … so pitiful. byleth again steals himself. " … i wasn't uncomfortable. i'm just reveling in your idiocy. dimitri, you dolt. " 

dimitri's gaze softens into confusion. " my idiocy? "

" yes. your _ idiocy _. " its byleth's turn to look at him now. his stare is steely and intense. " you can't get rid of me, dimitri. you should know that well enough already. i would come back to save you. every time. no matter what it'd cost me. "

dimitri's eyes widen for a second. he then again looks towards the ground, too embarrassed to hold byleth's gaze. " … i see. "

they fall silent. byleth, after deciding that the conversation was most likely over, presses forward towards the door for the final time. dimitri staggers along with him for a couple of steps before once again stopping. byleth tries in vain to pull him along. all too suddenly, dimitri is pulling himself upright on byleth's shoulder he goes until he is tall enough to place a small kiss on byleth's cheek. the grip the lord has on his shoulder nearly makes byleth tumble over onto the floor.

" _ i love you. _ " the position they're in makes it so dimitri is right up against byleth's ear when he says it. byleth swears he can feel the way dimitri's heartbeat jumps and sputters, even through all the layers he's wearing. " i love you. i love you so much it's maddening. please don't ever stop loving me. "

it's so … _ startling _ . so ... _ sudden _. but byleth cannot possibly hope to deny the warmth hearing it fills him with. heat rises to his cheeks and, instinctively, the man grabs dimitri under his armpit, struggling to keep him on his feet. the lord is pretty much asleep at this point -- it's only byleth's structural support that keeps him upright.

they stand there, the two of them, bathed in the moonlight that filters through the study's singular window. only half of dimitri's face is illuminated -- droopy, tired eyes and a small smile.

byleth stares, trying not to lose _ his _ legs now. suddenly, all his worries from before are washed away. it turned out dimitri wasn't as blind as he made him out to be … and he appreciated it. appreciated everything. _ he loved him. _ he loved him.

… he laughs.

" i won't. " byleth answers, his grip on dimitri growing tighter. " i mean it. "

" i won't. "

( byleth is glad to say that they awake together the next morning. dimitri sleeps far past the time he should -- something he chews his husband out for later. ' _ why didn't you wake me up? _ ' dimitri would ask while getting himself together for the day. to that, byleth would laugh -- laugh and laugh and laugh.

for once, he feels like it is enough. )


End file.
